I can't do everything.
But I can do this one small thing, which makes me wonder what other small things I can do.
I've been a nail biter for over 20 years, thanks to The Berenstain Bears and the Bad Habit. In the book, Sister Bear nibbles her nails and has a really hard time stopping. My 5-year-old self decided to try biting my nails to see what the big deal was. Commence bad habit that would continue nonstop until a few months ago. Pretty sure that's not what Stan & Jan Berenstain had in mind.
Over the years, I'd often bite them out of frustration or anger. Boredom. Habit. I managed to leave them alone for a little bit before our wedding, but then I went right back to gnawing them off afterward.
Then one day I made one tiny choice- painting them with ridiculous purple glitter polish out of Lydia's stocking- and I have not chewed my nails in over two months.
This is the longest I have gone without biting them since the habit began 23 or 24 years ago. I wasn't even trying to quit biting, I just looked at that crazy glitter and thought how gross it would be to bite it. And all the sudden, I'd stopped biting altogether. Now I have to keep them polished or else they look tempting. But so far, I've been successful.
I have to wonder, what else can I do that I never thought possible?
That I've never even considered trying?
It sounds silly, but it gives me hope.
It's not really about whether I bite my nails or not. In the end, I don't think that really matters.
For me, it's about willpower. I didn't think I had it.
But I surprised myself.
I guess change doesn't have to be some huge monumental choice, like swearing off sweets for the rest of my life.
Maybe it's one tiny decision, like choosing to skip dessert in favor of a glass of Crystal Light (fruit punch is where it's at!) that leads to more tiny decisions that leads to change over time.
What tiny exercise in willpower can you make today?
Who knows...maybe it will turn into something.
