If my life were a show, it would be cancelled

Fall is upon us and that comes my nearly debilitating ragweed allergy. It stinks. The weather is nice enough that I want to be outside in it, but unfortunately the air is filled with sneeze-inducing pollen that makes my eyes itch and my nose run. I spent a good portion of several days outside last week and was rewarded with gross cold symptoms that kept me (and Tim) up all night. I decided that my body needed a break, and I spent most of the weekend inside. Until I figure out a good way to treat my allergies, I am attempting to limit my time outside. Flonase, I'm counting on you!

I've been reading, ok? I've finished a book since my last blog post and have started another. There are many that I want to read but I am either waiting on them at the library or trying to decide how much of my birthday Amazon gift card I should put toward e-books. It's tricky. If I wait and get them from the library, they are free. But waiting sucks. So in the mean time...I've been watching lots of delicious TV.

What have I been watching, you ask? Apparently, the same show in different formats. As of right now, here are the shows I'm currently watching. I'm including links because you need to check them out.

1. Brooklyn Nine Nine
2. The Mindy Project
3. New Girl
4. The Big Bang Theory
5. Modern Family

Earlier, I asked my Facebook friends to share what shows they are looking forward to watching this fall, and I was shocked to find that everyone else is watching dramas while I am strictly watching comedies. I've been giving this a lot of thought while I wistfully stare outside and I discovered that I am watching different variations of the same premise.

All of the shows I like have a large cast of differing people working closely together. They're room mates, co-workers, friends or family members. All of these casts have at least one weirdo female that I find hilarious and/or relatable.  They all have a little romance thrown in there somewhere, which I like. But yeah, basically, it's the same show. Here's a bunch of wacky people living their lives with a side of hilarious antics.

I could totally have one of those shows. I'll be the hilarious lead female, and my friends and family can be part of the ensemble. Some of you are quirky enough to be on my show. Kayla, you're in for sure. We're kind of lacking in the romance department since most of my friends are married with kids. Maybe the show would be about my day to day life, dealings with the kids, homeschooling? I'm not sure how interesting that would be though. I think there'd have to be some kind of conflict to keep it interesting. I guess it could be a show about moms? And cats? Moms would watch that, but no one else would.  It could be funny...I think. Maybe I could throw in Matt and Cameron to add a different dynamic? I dunno.

I shared this idea with Tim and he told me that I could not portray myself because that would make it a reality show and reality shows suck. So which actress could be me? I've been watching a lot of SNL lately and I like Kate McKinnon. Maybe she'd be a good me.

As for the conflict...well, I guess I could see myself seeking out a purpose in life. (I blogged about that around this time last year! And it was even about TV!) I'm not sure what that would look like on TV. I kind of want to be a writer. But I'm 90% sure a show about a homeschooling mom aspiring to be a writer would be cancelled after one season.

Oh well, back to living vicariously through my shows.

How I Met Your....Friends and found my Purpose

Do you ever feel restless? I feel restless lately. I'm unsure what to do with myself. Nothing really sounds good, so I just end up in the basement watching reruns of Friends. I love that show, but there's got to be something more.

I've been binge-watching TV for the past few months during the kids' quiet time and at night after they are in bed. I started with How I Met Your Mother and then stumbled upon Friends for the first time in my life. Both are great shows that had me hooked and made me laugh. But the problem was that there were 9 seasons of HIMYM available on Netflix and I ended up purchasing all 10 seasons of Friends on DVD since that was the cheapest way to watch them all. That's a lot of TV. I'm not even a person who used to like TV. I didn't watch it much growing up. I guess I am making up for that now. I enjoyed both shows a lot because they were funny and I loved the relationships between the characters. I even wonder how the characters in the two shows would get along with each other. I mean Robin doesn't really like anyone so she probably wouldn't get along with Monica and Rachel, but I'm thinking Joey and maybe Chandler could fit in with Marshall and Ted. Maybe.

Am I sad for even entertaining these kinds of useless thoughts? Probably. Sometimes being a stay-at-home-mom is isolating. Homeschooling is a lot of fun but it means that my kids are with me always. I love them and I mostly view this as a positive, but it leaves less time for other relationships. So I guess part of me enjoyed these shows because, well, it might be nice to have a group of friends or coworkers or whoever to hang out with. Adults. Just being honest. I wouldn't change where I am in my life if I could, but that doesn't mean it's always cake.

Now I have watched all 236 episodes of Friends and all 208 episodes of HIMYM and I'm done. So what should I do with all the free time I now have? Probably NOT start watching a new show, unless it is brand new and only puts out one 24 minute episode per week. Cuz that's how little self control I have. By my calculations, I watched 444 episodes of TV between these two shows, which is about 185 hours of TV or 7 days.  An entire week of my life spent watching TV shows. Wow. In a very short period of time. So that's a lot of time invested in TV watching, which is funny and relaxing but not very worthwhile and certainly passive. Now that I'm done with them, what should I do with nap time? My evenings? I just don't know.

I already spend a great deal of time with my kids. We read together, learn together and talk together daily. I started a new Bible study and have been reading for about 30 minutes each day and going to class once per week. I guess I could clean the house more, but it'll just get messy again. Lately Tim has been busy watching the Royals or football or working out, so a lot of this time I have is alone time anyway. I've read some good books and done some sewing. What did I used to do before this TV laden phase of life? I guess I went to the gym sometimes. That sounds...yyyyeah.

I'm just not sure what I can do that would make a difference. I'm unsure about what I'm being called to do and where to focus my energy. I'm with the girls during the day, so I have to stick around the house while they are resting. Evenings are tricky, I'm usually booked til 8pm or so and I don't want to stay out too late. What kind of a difference can I make here, from my home? What can I do that is worthwhile? How can I reach out to others in a meaningful way? What am I passionate about? What am I good at? What is God calling me to do? These are questions I am working through right now. I love to write. I love to sing. I like to share about experiences in my life and what I have learned along the way. Honestly, I would love to hear about your experiences too, whether you have been through this before and how it turned out.

Somehow, I'm gonna find my purpose.

Songs related to this topic:

From a great musical with puppets called Avenue Q - Purpose
Matthew West - My Own Little World